woes of quite celebration

raya went by.
it was not fun.
boring.
strangely enough,
the air around my house is not festive.
just blank...
went to kedah to my stepfather's hometown.
was there from saturday till wednesday.

hurm.
sad.
depressive.
diminishing.
humiliated.

light permits through heaven's clouds

what prevails of emotions thought and creativity can never be channeled finely and remotely if it was to transverse from one unified divine form to the others.
to exemplified, the rage in mind, lust, passion, euphoric sensation, lost, melancholic, devastation... merely words of divine retribution with a lost cause if channeled wrongfully in some cases resulting in death and sinfully acts of blasphemy.

what to become of us?
we of no mere talent?
no passion i whatsoever that we've indulge in..
to forever regret the decisions i life made from moments of chaos and panic.

i, admittedly
subdue to this cohort.
i am a talentless figure.
no
more to a distraught mannequin to be made a foolery of.
a mockery of existence,
a sin in progress of living

yet, to make a mark is as if an ant,
a single ant of the colony able to bring back grain after a long restraint.

no
i have no real passion for fashion
whatever i do i try to do my best
lack of passion is my downfall.
to make up for it i have to be hardworking
sleep is inevitably lost in the process...
pimples grew over time..
but passion never seems to realize its potential in me..
i shall for eternity dwell i disbelief and chaos.
whats within me is it the same as everyone else?

physically true but emotionally mentally?
am i one of the many?
what people say is that what makes you unique is what makes of u.
your identity, your personality..
with trends and fads are we not drones???
who am i really?
talentless i am
yet retribution i seek....

to create beautiful things is what i love.
to destroy is another.
to see my creation as envy is euphoric.
but to see it completed is a blessing.
to be praised is empty.
but to be appreciated for the work completed is to be craved...

with that i leave for you pictures of my latest endeavour.
i wish not to be a victim any longer.
i wish to be free..
chains no more.
endless skies i pray for you.


Berikut adalah senarai 12 finalis Pertandingan Busana Muslim Marhaban Di Astro 2009 yang layak ke pertandingan akhir pada 6 Setember 2009 nanti.

RIZAL JAMALUDIN
MUHAMAD ZHARIN HARIZ
SYAHRUL NAIM IBRAHIM
ROZAINE SHARUDIN
NORHAFIS HASSAN
AKMAL ARIFFIN
HAIRUL AZUAN AHDAN
NIK ERWAN ROSELI
FATIN SYAZWANI AHMAD AMBRI
KHAIRULAZLAN ABD KARIM
RAZIMAN ROSLAN
MUHAMMAD SYAFIQ SAHAK







design name:RENAISSANCE DU CENDERAWASIH
model: SARAH RAHMAN


i won third place....
1st: khairul azlan kareem (UiTM shah alam's lecturer)
2nd: nik erwan ( an established fashion designer)
3rd: me
4th: rozainie ( my friend and fellow course mate)

the design sent...