Wednesday, December 24, 2008



The scars upon my face...

The truth that has filled the void and space upon my cheeks, chin and forehead...

Acne scars.

Some stay,

Some lingers,

Most are gone with the permission of time.

I lived. Though as vivid as the the translucent incandescent of time,

I have lived.

The scars that remain are forever a reminder.

To remember.

To mark, the growth as spatial as the pace it took for me to learn.

The masks have been finally removed from my earthen spoiled face. The color hidden within the youth that has been brought up to shelter me, to protect me from the cruel uninviting evil which in reality is, itself, Reality. Though to some, this ugly dots and scratches upon the face are vile and should remain hidden from the eyes and prospects of humanity, to me, it is precious. As precious as the love of my family, of friends, and of colleagues precariously perched and etch in the memory of heavens above.

The freckles are proven of my living. Throughout my yearning for independence, to learn my place to believe in the reality I have failed. But from ashes of failure I raised. Smeared is my face. Forever tarnish by the scars of youth. But forever to be masked to live in innocence, in youth, in denial.. Never is a life worth living.

For the scars, I am proud. To mark the adulthood I shall fulfill, I am obliged to receive. Love is a sinner. Though euphoria seems forever to never end in the sentence ended in love, heartache looms to snatch the narcissism beauty of the love soiree. Twice or even quadrupled the amount of trust breached remained hidden. Blinded by love, never the lust of others managed to be discarded. Yet the yearned to be loyal etch a scar upon my heart and upon my face bit by bit. Forever this mannequin remains silent unless the strings of love are willed into discord. The tension to set foot into reality bites hard into my brittle bones.

As the worst of times moves in a circle set in motion as the wheels of time forsakes, this mannequin can no longer remain silent. With unnerving wills mustered by the strength of utter disbelieve and over proportioned hate, I bid love adieu. Au revoir. No more shall tears fall for the sake of uneventful love. Though the time spent was filled with memories that shed liquid motion down my cheeks, the scar remained are forever savored to be kept as a reminder.

Thus the fear to fall for love etches me on my cheeks. Let it remain. It is the facts. It is my evidence of the fearful taste of love. Let it stay. Yes. I want it to stay. Let it remain as my alarm. To shook me back into reality every time the mirror speaks. I love my freckles. It is my proven right. To show my indecent past of horrors filled with the demonic devils in my tortured soulful journey towards growth in this devilish psychotic chaos world of reality.

Shallow shall it seems, denial no more shall I be in. to trust in myself. Used no more shall I be. To love thy self. The precious gift god has bestows upon me. Fool me for my scars, I care not. I am proud of it. It is my prove. My reality. My future.

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