dear mr blog

dearest online diary for the viewing of the public..

how are you? oh how I've long to write on your space filled with my weary-blabs-of-meaningless-no-intelligence-to-be-envisage-of-a-blog.
how i have to type in a long essay of craps that happened to me throughout my whole 24-hours on this spherical planet of ours called earth..
as a humble homo-sapien, i beseech you.
as low as i lay i began to realize how sad my life currently is.
my memoirs written here are mere ramblings of a young uneducated mind trying to find acceptance in this cruel world.

my fair online diary,
have you ever felt this?
this weird feeling of uselessness in a whirlpool filled by lust and greed thus foiled my gluttony of man ever searching for a small security sense of belonging.
of cause you never felt it right?
everyday humanity pop into your scene to see the minuscule difference you have made in the lives of many.
oh how i envy your usefulness...
how i wish i was...

i wish i was....
what do i wish to contribute?
have i any talent that will benefit mankind?
does it really makes a difference if i still breathe the next day?
agendas of a fool wish to be devoid of emotions.
to be pat on the back for every inadequate move made.
to be envied and lust over.
to take center stage.

OH how i yearn for a life worth living.

i seem to no longer have my ability to write in a sense of emotional obsession over hate,rage,lust on the topic lust.
does that mean i am successful?
am i finally devoid of meaningless emotions?
tell me Mr online diary...
is it finally here?
am i finally no longer human?

if it is true then what am i?
...............
...............
...............

should i take a life...
will it bring my humanity back?
should i torture a soul with ill attempts of pain should my innocence bespoken?
step-by-step..
should i torture another being by inducing pain upon their entire being,
straining the life out of them until the silent hush can be heard?
will ever then death be dancing upon me?
should i torture a man by taking his eyeballs out, drilling holes upon them, taking out their nails one-by-one, slicing their innards while they're still alive, burning them from the inside out be pleasurable?

i wonder...
should ever be as lovely as i imagine?
blood..
tainted blood all over the room.
filling the tubs of pleasure within me...

i seem to have found my calling.
no wonder murderer's love doing this..
the excruciating joy of inducing pain...

to start with..
i shall hook the victims by the leg to hang them...
waiting till their conscious minds awake..
if they scream, off goes their tongues.
the explosion of red divine would be heavenly welcomed upon my face...
as the shock off losing a muscle finally came to,
panic strikes their weary soul.

the fun finally begun.
shall i drill holes on to their knees.
OH what fun to see their ligaments tore off!
bit by bit until the initial fun of drilling ends,
i shall move on to slicing.
yum.
a little cut here, a big wound up there and a huge hole by the stomach!
don't die yet!
the euphoria just began!
adrenaline has yet to be enjoy to the fullest..
endorphins are just about to set.
waky waky...

hahahahahahah!!!!
a dab of petrol here.. a little over there...
a little light.. a tada!!!
a bonfire of humane flesh beseech you!

should it end there?

then take a step back and lets redo the face.
:)

step 1)drill the left eye.
2)drill the right cheek
3)slice the cheeks! ( as the great joker's words, why so serious?)
4)pull a wire upon the torn flesh of their cheeks up to their ears.
5)burn off the tip of their nose (how i love the scent of burnt flesh)
6)gouge the right eyeball with finger.
7)pour salt and lemon juice all over the wounds
(keep in mind the patients are still alive during the whole ordeal.:) )

would eating their flesh means absorbing a bit of their holistic DNA?
will it mean that they shall remain a part of us forever?
i wonder...

:) ...

thank you oh my dear friend online diary aka "blog"

how you've brought color upon my bland and lethargic soul.
:)