Monday, November 16, 2009

rescue me....

"a far cry it seems of this lonesome man to seek. i have seen the world and i hate it. why must we traverse in this dark entity without the lights of heavens? why do the serene callings of hell make me safe??? what is wrong with this awful place?
death is all around us, to be called upon seems to be a blessing, to be ripped apart thy soul from thy wretched earthly carcass is the virtue to be seek!
to die in pain, rather in vain..
thus pain eludes us from the ecstasy christen by death!
pain as the glory of living, ripped apart thy skin from limb to limb!
gorge out thy eyes to see no evil,
carve out thy mouth and lips to speak no evil,
dig out your ears to hear no evil!
i beseech you.
do unto other what you wish to be done upon you...
may the gates of hell receive thee with guns a blaze!
cleanse my demonic soul with your blood my savior!
free me off this journey wrapped in your thorns!
slit my throat or cut off my tongue...
make me feel pain!
make me suffer!
make me believe in the philosophy enchanted by thy riddles!
answer me this....
why the fuck should you succeed when all else fail?"

laments of my insecurities....

"Insecurity is a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving oneself to be unloved, inadequate or worthless (whether in a rational or an irrational manner).
A person who is insecure lacks confidence in their own value and capability, lacks trust in themselves or others, or has fears that a present positive state is temporary and will let them down and cause them loss or distress by "going wrong" in the future.
This is not to be confused with humility, which involves recognising one's failings but still maintaining a healthy dose of self-confidence. Insecurity is not an objective evaluation of one's ability but an emotional interpretation, as two people with the same capabilities may have entirely different levels of insecurity.
Insecurity may cause shyness, paranoia and social withdrawal, or alternatively it may encourage compensatory behaviors such as arrogance, aggression, or bullying, a principle enshrined in the phrase "all bullies are cowards." Many people suffer a period of insecurity during puberty, which gives rise to a lot of the stereotypical behaviors of adolescents.

In Norse mythology, a valkyrie (Old Norse valkyrja "chooser of the slain") is one of a host of female figures who decide who will die in battle. The valkyries bring their chosen to the afterlife hall of the slain, Valhalla, ruled over by the god Odin, where the deceased warriors become einherjar. There, when the einherjar are not preparing for the events of Ragnarök, the valkyries bear them mead. Valkyries also appear as lovers of heroes and other mortals, where they are sometimes described as the daughters of royalty, sometimes accompanied by ravens, and sometimes connected to swans.

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